Mother culture explained: The self-care shift you didn’t know you needed

Charlotte Mason’s philosophy is perhaps best explained by her line “education is an atmosphere, a discipline, and a life.” It is not too hard to see that the mother herself is perhaps the biggest influence on a home’s atmosphere! A burnt-out and frazzled mother will have a near-impossible time sowing seeds of peace and joy in her home. Meanwhile, a content and fulfilled mother fosters a love of truth, beauty, and goodness in a seemingly effortless way. So how can we invest in ourselves as mothers to avoid burnout that negatively impacts our own well-being and that of our families?

Self-care in the modern sense can often have an empty or self-serving meaning, but Charlotte Mason emphasizes the importance of a mother investing time and energy in cultivating her own soul through “living ideas.” We put significant thought and energy toward choosing a balanced education for our own children, but all too often, we neglect our own ongoing education. Caring for ourselves as mothers does not mean we need more time to retreat into bubble baths and retail therapy; rather, for Mason, it means we need to devote time to nourishing our own minds and souls.

Be the atmosphere

Children soak up so much of what is around them. Try making one little change that actualizes the atmosphere you want to foster in your home. Put on a dress that makes you feel beautiful, turn on music that makes you smile. By showing your children true enjoyment in beauty and goodness you are not only taking care of yourself, but you are modeling to them an atmosphere of gratitude and contentedness. While self-care can sometimes mean taking time alone to retreat from your responsibilities, consider ways to care for yourself in and through the everyday. Fostering little moments of joy may have a greater impact than you expect!

Nourish your own mind with “living ideas”

It may have been years since you researched a topic simply because it was of interest to you, but it’s never too late. If we want to instill in our children a lifelong love of learning, then we need to walk the walk. Find a topic that draws your attention and lean into it. Living ideas give you something meaningful to chew on. They go deeper than idle curiosity and are able to reinvigorate your intellect and heart. Be wary of spending too much of your leisure time on empty twaddle (sitcoms, influencer content, or life hacks) that may serve as a temporary distraction, but later leave you drained and aimless.

Follow Mason’s “Three Book Rule”

Reading is an essential way that mothers can fill their own cup. At first, developing a habit of reading can be challenging or sound unappealing, but with some time, the fruits and restorative rest that come from immersing oneself in deep thoughts and wondrous stories are truly irreplaceable. Charlotte Mason knew well that finding the right time to read can be challenging, but her “three book rule” is an excellent way to set yourself up for literary success! Mason recommended having three books going at any time, one stiff book (theology, philosophy, or another intellectual subject), a moderate book (educational but not as strenuous), and a novel (fiction that delights the imagination). When the opportunity to read arises, having several options ensures that you have enough flexibility to match whatever your mental bandwidth is at the time.

Practical ideas for “soul-care”:

• Re-read your favorite childhood chapter book (an easy read is a great way to jumpstart a new reading habit).
• Enlist a friend to be a writing buddy and send each other something you write each week (short stories, poems, musings, etc.).
• Get out your watercolors or colored pencils.
• Send a real thank-you/affirmation note.
• Invite friends over for tea in real teacups.
• Join a class (like these free great books courses).
• Turn on a piece of classical music and listen to it while sitting still (not as background music).

Suggestions for further reading:

• Mother Culture by Karen Andreola
• For the Children’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay
• The Well Read Mom book club (membership with an annual booklist and local meetings)

With these suggestions as your guide, you can avoid a self-centered rut and rediscover a deep sense of fulfillment in the life you already live. Cultivating love and peace in your home begins with cultivating joy in your own soul!