How to get your kiss on New Year’s Eve: The art of signaling

Snowflakes fall outdoors and glitter falls inside. 3, 2, 1… 

If you’re like me, you’ve dreamed about the New Year’s Eve countdown ending with a kiss from a handsome man, hoping for one spark-filled, spontaneous moment that feels less like an ending and more like a beginning.

This dream seems more like a fictional movie plot than potential reality, and there might be a good reason for that. I recently listened to a podcast episode that explained most people find it easier to be flirtatious, charismatic, and unserious over text. In person? The same people found engaging with someone in reality much more intimidating. Ironically, the very things that make us human, making connections through communication (romantically or platonically), has become a lost art. 

For those of us women who hope to be pursued, rather than be the pursuers, it can be even more difficult to know what to do to help make that romantic dream become a reality. Let’s be honest, dropping the handkerchief can be an ambiguous business. Here’s how you can do it with confidence and maybe even secure a “When Harry Met Sally” -esque smooch.

Hot take: Bring back flirting

Flirting is meant to be a playful and lighthearted way to connect. It also provides an excuse to start a conversation and get to know someone deeper. We live in an oversexualized and pornified culture where any consensual advance can lead to sexual intimacy or allude to it. The truth is, not everything has to lead to sex. The end goal of flirting should be to make someone smile and laugh. You want to move from being strangers to being friendly.

You shouldn’t feel pressure when giving a flirty glance or a smile. Flirting with a stranger shouldn’t be sexual at all since you have not established that sort of trust and emotional intimacy, let alone married them. If someone returns your interest, great! If they don’t, no worries. That’s the beauty of it, flirting isn’t meant to be rocket science. But if you want to do it right, you have to understand body language and the art of signaling.

How to signal 

In order to signal effectively, you must know that availability makes you attractive. It doesn’t matter how beautiful you look or how much you have to offer if you aren’t approachable. It’s about smiling at others and projecting humble confidence. It’s not about changing who you are, but showcasing the best of yourself to someone else. 

Steal a glance 

Casually scan the room and then let your eyes wander back to the person you were interested in. Lock eyes with them in a flirty, intentional way. Hold the gaze for two seconds longer than normal, just enough for a little discomfort. After that, look away. 

Say “hey” with a little, gentle spice to it

Make sure your inflection is on the lower end of your vocal range. It signals confidence and relaxation. To do this, speak on the “out breath” or on the exhale. If the guy is interested, he’ll return the “hey.” If not, you were just saying hello and you move on. This little trick also works when you smile, mouth “hi or hey,” gaze for a minute, and then go back to minding your business.

Flirting in conversation

You made the glance and there’s a connection — now it’s time to flirt in conversation. Continue to project confidence without trying too hard. Ask questions based on your shared context with the person you find attractive. The goal is to find things in common that can boost further connection. Basically, you want to frame the questions to search for similarities that prompt agreement.

If you’re working out at the same gym, you have that in common. Ask them questions about their routine, favorite pre-workout snack, etc. Did you run into one another at a bar? Ask them what they’ve ordered or what they think of the venue.

New year, new me 

The next time the clock strikes midnight in a room full of confetti or leftover string lights and mistletoe set the mood, remember this: You’re already ahead of the game! Even if the moment isn’t quite right or frankly that romantic, don’t be afraid to practice signaling. Whether it’s a spark with a stranger or a shared smile over the self-checkout scanner, every small moment counts. Flirting is a win even if it doesn’t end in a relationship. There’s a special kind of boldness when you regain the self-confidence that comes from being playful and unbothered. Flirting isn’t a binding contract — it’s a tiny celebration of connection, curiosity, and charm. So go ahead, wink boldly and laugh freely. Your next great story might start with nothing more than a smile offered at exactly the right time.