It’s 8:30 a.m., and Maya is in class, fighting for her life to stay focused.

You might assume she’s running on no sleep or skipped her morning coffee. But no—her academic downfall came in the form of a cute guy.

Jack strutted in wearing a skin-tight Gymshark top that looked airbrushed on and shorts so short they were more suggestion than fabric. One thing was obvious: this man loved fitness, and he wanted the entire lecture hall to know it. Maya was wide awake and laser-focused—but not on the lecture.

Modesty is more than just covering up—or about a double standard.

It’s about awareness, intention, and context. And honestly, it’s not always clear what “dressing modestly” even means. Think of it more as a thoughtful, slightly awkward dance between self-respect, respect for others, and the dawning realization that maybe—just maybe—leggings aren’t pants.

Modesty only makes sense when God is the main character

We’re constantly told to be the main characters of our own lives—and to a point, that’s true. But we’re also flawed. Speaking from personal experience, my feelings, desires, and even judgment aren’t always right or good for me. That’s why it’s more important to live in relationship with God than to try to become our own gods. When we put God at the center, conversations about modesty make more sense. It keeps us from constantly rationalizing our behavior.

Modesty isn’t just about fabric—it’s about order

At its core, modesty means moderation. It’s about being rightly ordered in God’s eyes—not hiding behind fabric or putting your body on display. Modesty isn’t just about whether your outfit provokes desire. It’s about context, respect, and intention. Just like flip-flops at a funeral or white at someone else’s wedding, our clothes send a message. They can reflect our values, identity, inner struggles—or just how much laundry we’ve done lately. Modesty weaves together fashion, dignity, self-respect, and the state of the heart. (See Genesis 1:28—our bodies are good.)

How do I know if I’m dressing modestly?

Reflective questions and practical basics:

• Does my outfit reflect the occasion? (Is it Sunday Mass or a day at the beach?)
  
• Is this outfit more suited for sleeping than for daily life?
  
• What’s the temperature outside—or where I’m going?
  
• Let’s be honest: is it too tight?
  
• Is this something I’d normally wear at home alone, or in public?
  
• Do I feel uncomfortable or constantly have to adjust it?
  
• Am I wearing this because it’s the only clean thing?
  
• Does this outfit show that I’m making an effort?
  
• Is it classy?

Morality & sensuality

• Am I glorifying God—or myself—with what I wear?
  
• Does the outfit reflect my character and personality—or just my body?
  
• What kind of attention am I trying to attract?
  
• Am I wearing this to get attention from the opposite sex?
  
• Is the kind of attention I want the kind that’s only appropriate in marriage?
  
• What’s the goal of this outfit?
  
• Why do I feel beautiful, strong, or empowered in it?
  
• Is it because it shows skin or highlights certain parts of my body?
  
• Are those reasons good?
  
• Am I intentionally drawing attention to my body to flaunt what I have?
  

Where style meets soul

• Does this outfit reflect how I want to be treated?
  
• Does it reveal too much—or too little—of who I am?
  
• What am I trying to accomplish by wearing it?
  
• What does it communicate about me?
  
• Am I dressing like someone else instead of being myself?
  
• Does it reflect what I truly value?
  
• Does it command respect from others?
  
• Does it show that I respect myself?