Kids won’t nap? How to institute sanity-saving “cozy time”

For most moms, nap time is a precious moment of the day to recollect your wits and reset your home. When littles inevitably have a sleep regression or drop their afternoon nap altogether, you need a contingency plan! Cozy time is the afternoon ritual your family will come to love. Follow these simple steps to institute a cozy time routine that you (and your kiddos!) can look forward to.

Keep the timing realistic (and visual!)

When you are first starting out, the length of time may feel shorter than you would like. The length of time can grow as your child’s enjoyment and their understanding of the cozy time concept expand. Use a visual timer to help your child see how long they are expected to play independently. Time is an incredibly abstract concept for a young child to grasp, so if you expect them to remain in their cozy time area for 30 minutes (or even up to 2 hours for school-age kids) be sure you give them a tool to track the passage of time! A visual timer (like this one) or an hourglass (like this one) can be fun and helpful. After lunch tends to be a natural siesta time for most families, which makes it a perfect anchor for your cozy time!

Designate the space

Try a dark closet with a blanket, under a table covered with a sheet, or a children’s tent/tepee! The novelty of a special snug space can go far in making cozy time appealing to children. If you are expecting them to do cozy time in their room, take a minute to lay out a blanket and pillow in the corner or make sure they have a comfortable kids-size chair to sit in. Designating the cozy-time area apart from the places where they usually play will help them see the time as set apart for rest.

When in doubt, add a snack

Even if cozy time is right after lunch, a little snack can be a wonderful source of enjoyment for your little one. In my family, we like to use cozy time to give our children their gummy vitamins along with a small square of dark chocolate with some nuts and dried fruit. Other good snacks could include cheese and apple slices, or bell pepper slices and rice cakes. Some snacks may create crumbs or messes, but for some families, a quick vacuum is a small price to pay for an hour (or more) of peace.

Audio is your friend (and the Yoto is the secret weapon)

The Yoto player is an absolute game-changer for cozy time. It allows children to choose their own audio (from your curated library) and change the story and chapter completely independently of you (or a screen). Even the youngest child can manage the simple buttons. If you do not have a Yoto, older children can usually manage a CD player independently, or you can stream audio to a bluetooth speaker. Choose stories that are engaging, but not overstimulating. Chapter books are preferred to shorter stories because they keep the child engaged over a longer stretch of time. Try favorites from E.B. White (Charlotte’s Web or Stuart Little) or look on Librivox for free public domain classics like The Burgess Animal Book for Children, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, and Winnie the Pooh. Some children enjoy having an open-ended toy nearby that they can work with, while others are content to sit or lie down while their imagination does all the exploring. For more audiobook suggestions, see 11 Family Audiobooks.

Adjust your expectations

Half the battle can be internal! Make sure you are in a good headspace by managing expectations and keeping age-appropriate limits. The length and reliability of cozy time will increase over time, but when you start out don’t accumulate an impossible list of tasks to knock out while your child is resting. For starters, try to rest yourself during cozy time — pick up a book or simply prop your feet up for a few sacred minutes. Your children will soon learn that afternoon cozy time is set aside for everyone to recharge and they are not missing out on any fun action while they rest. As your cozy time routine becomes more sustainable, you will be able to make productive use of your time, but beware of the trap of efficiency that can lead you to resent your children for any sub-perfect execution of your cozy time ideal. Depending on their ages and temperaments, all of your children might not be able to do the exact same length of cozy time, but trust the process and before you know it your kids will be happily engaged in a cozy afternoon rest while mom gets a brief interlude of peace and quiet!

Does your family do an afternoon “cozy time”? What tips and tricks have worked for your family?