5 ways to be a gracious wedding guest

Weddings are a joyful time, worthy of celebration. But all too often the high emotions of the day can devolve into unnecessary drama. When you attend a wedding, you can help make the day beautiful and memorable by being a gracious and conscientious guest. These reminders will help everyone stay focused on the couple entering the sacrament and avoid common pitfalls.

Receive hospitality with gratitude, not judgment

Resist the impulse to evaluate every style decision of the wedding you are attending. It should go without saying, but comparing the big event to other weddings you’ve attended or even your own is a temptation that never leads anywhere positive. There are myriads of decisions that make this occasion possible and the goal is to celebrate the joy and union of the couple — not to make it into the latest wedding magazine. Remember, the celebration is more than a party; it is about the couple’s sacred commitment.

Keep your phone away

“Unplugged” ceremonies have been on the rise lately, but even if you are not attending a wedding with intentional “phones away” policies, you should remain cognizant of your screen. Taking your own photos during the ceremony can unknowingly disrupt the professional photographer’s shot. Additionally, the digital world can pull you away from savoring this special moment. Keep your phone powered off during the ceremony and off the table at the reception so you can truly celebrate the wedding feast.

Don’t monopolize the bride and groom

Keep in mind that on their wedding day, the bride and groom are surrounded by all the people that are most special to them. Sometimes it is quite a crowd! It is overwhelming for them to spend substantial time with every guest, so keep your expectations realistic and avoid monopolizing the couple’s time. You may not have the chance for an extended catch-up chat, but a heartfelt “congratulations” and a “thank you for including me in your special day” can go a long way!

Dress with the ceremony in mind

Note the requested dress code and plan your attire accordingly. The wedding is a sacred moment, and your clothing should present yourself in a conscientious light. The obvious rules of thumb (like not wearing white and being modest in church) always apply, but ask yourself whether your dress will detract from the focus on the couple. You can dress tastefully and fashionably without turning the event into your personal runway! Aim to wear something that you feel comfortable and confident in and that honors the bride and groom’s stated dress code.

Gift generously when possible, but always be generous with prayers

Not everyone can be financially generous with their gift-giving, but we can all offer prayers for the new couple and their marriage. If appropriate, let the couple know that you are praying for them by including a note in your card or sending a Mass card after the event. If you are praying a novena leading up to the event, let the couple know your prayers are with them as they prepare for the big day! Your ongoing prayer and support mean more than any gift wrapped with a bow. That being said, tangible gift giving should respect the stated registry or cash fund and refrain from judgment. There are so many different life circumstances and household habits, so do your best to honor the wishes of the couple and give according to their requests and not according to your own agenda.

Wedding season can be exciting and full of preparation, even for guests! The sacrament of marriage is well worth celebrating. With these tips in mind, you will be prepared to bring a spirit of poise and gratitude to every wedding you attend.