Most women, at one time or another, have been told to act “ladylike.” But what does that really mean in today’s world? While times have certainly changed, the essence of grace and respect remains timeless. 

Here are ten manners that still hold their place in the 21st century — a gentle reminder that being a lady never goes out of style.

1. Write ‘thank you’ notes

While it’s common to send a note after receiving a gift, don’t forget to express gratitude for the smaller kindnesses, too. If someone helped you during a hectic time or hosted you for an event, take a moment to write a thoughtful note. It doesn’t need to be long — sincerity always outweighs length.

2. Bring hostess gifts

 When someone invites you into her home, arrive with a small token of appreciation. It needn’t be extravagant — a candle, a homemade treat, or a pretty tea towel will do nicely. (And yes, follow up with a thank you note.)

3. Be punctual

 With phones practically glued to our hands, “losing track of time” is no longer an acceptable excuse. Plan ahead so you can arrive on time and avoid keeping others waiting. Punctuality is a quiet form of respect.

4. Speak kindly and forsake gossip

Choosing not to gossip or speak ill of others is a mark of maturity and self-control. It signals that you can be trusted – and that your conversation is a safe place. A lady doesn’t build her wit at the expense of someone else’s dignity.

5. Mind your table manners

Remember the basics: don’t speak with your mouth full, place your napkin in your lap, and keep dinner conversation pleasant and inclusive. These small courtesies create a more enjoyable experience for everyone at the table.

6. Be an active listener

Instead of planning your reply while the other person is speaking, practice truly listening. Make eye contact and absorb what they’re saying. Your response will be more thoughtful — and your presence more meaningful.

7. Stay present

 When you’re with someone, be with them. Set aside your phone and other distractions. Whether it’s a one-on-one chat or a group gathering, your undivided attention is a rare and valuable gift.

8. Dress appropriately

There’s a time and place for workout clothes — a dinner party or a lunch date is not it. Even casual outings deserve a little effort. A pair of jeans, a blouse, and a few accessories can elevate your look without feeling overdone.

9. Lend a helping hand

Hold the door, offer to carry a bag, or give up your seat when needed. These small, thoughtful acts may seem minor, but they can brighten someone’s entire day.

10. Use polite language

Opt for “pardon me” instead of “what,” and “excuse me” rather than “move.” These small shifts in speech can transform your tone and leave a lasting impression of warmth and grace.

BONUS! Use your interlocutor’s name.

It may seem awkward at first, but addressing a person with whom you’re speaking by name used to be de rigueur. Try “Alice, your cookies are delicious!” instead of just “These are delicious!”