I don’t think I realized, until I was a mother, how truly precious time is—and how prone I was to wasting it. Nothing will force your hand to learn time management quite like a napping infant or toddler. Of the many things that I found difficult to commit to in new motherhood, fitness was perhaps the most, but quickly became one of the most crucial, as well.

I’ve found there are a few obstacles to maintaining fitness in motherhood, time being only one among them. In addition to the weight of learning time management with children, it’s easy to experience feelings of guilt in motherhood when you try to meet any of your needs. When you’re faced with the deep need of a child that depends on you, any time to oneself can feel selfish or unnecessary. It’s a regular conversation among my friends who have children about how much time to yourself is “too much,” or if it’s even okay to feel like you “need a break” from your kids. These questions are personal, and I have yet to encounter a mom who isn’t asking them. 

Give from a place of abundance

However, just as we’d expect with any other person, it’s important to pour from a full cup. “Mom guilt,” though occasionally a good gut check about our priorities, is often a deterrent from mothers properly caring for themselves as they care for others. If a mother is healthy, energized, and strong, then her children will only benefit. While moms may not have a lot of time to fill their cups and prioritize their health, doing so to the best of their ability will yield untold benefits. It’s important to approach our feelings of guilt as mothers with understanding, but to ground ourselves in truth so that guilt doesn’t become our guide. You are tasked with the amazing, but challenging role of being a mother—you deserve to feel your best in the midst of it.

Fitness can feel like a superficial pursuit to a lot of people, but I think that is more a result of our modern rhetoric and motivations surrounding fitness than the activity itself. In our culture, we’re used to conversations about working out being centered on weight loss and aesthetics, rather than important goals like overall strength, longevity, and mental health. While maintaining a healthy weight and wanting to look your best aren’t bad goals, I think fitness in motherhood is best motivated by a desire to be healthy for one’s own sake and the sake of one’s children. If this is our motivation, it makes it much easier to prioritize and feel good about—thinking only of aesthetics can become a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction if left unchecked. 

How to find the time?

The other main obstacle to fitness in motherhood – time – is often solved, as many other issues in motherhood are, with creativity. While some moms may have never had a habit of fitness, others may have to let go of what they were able to achieve before having children. Being creative about what counts as a workout can help with both of these experiences—it can both build a new habit, while letting go of a season that’s passed, and making way for new goals. 

Whether or not you’re new to fitness, try to look at your current season and rhythm with children and see where fitness might fit in. Is there a park nearby where you can take a long walk every day? Can you wake up 30 minutes earlier to fit in an online workout? Can your spouse help you secure an hour to yourself for an evening class 3 days a week? Whatever your schedule looks like, there are so many ways to prioritize fitness, you’re certain to find one that fits your individual needs and goals. It doesn’t have to be long, and it doesn’t have to be at the gym (unless that’s what works for you!). Walking, swimming, and dancing are all wonderful forms of cardio – and can be easier to accomplish with kids. 

Adding in some strength training a few days a week for 20-30 minutes rounds out an excellent weekly fitness plan, whether that’s with weights or your own bodyweight. Don’t give in to the temptation to compare yourself to others – their time, schedule, and priorities are their own. Reframing exercise to fit your life as it is, and making it a habit to the best of your ability, can help minimize comparison.

But wait… there’s more!

As you prioritize a healthy body, you may find that it also has wonderful effects on your mind. A daily walk can lessen the severity of worry or anxiety, or provide an opportunity to pray or process your day. Regular exercise is associated with long-term benefits for heart health, bone strength, and hormone balance, particularly in women. You don’t just reap the benefits of your health—your kids do, too. Whether it’s being able to keep up with their play, push that stroller for long walks, or maintain a little more mental peace amid chaos, your health is their health.

Your body undertakes the most sacred and often demanding physical job there is every day: being a mother. Taking time to honor it through building strength and energy isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.