Introvert or extrovert? The truth about how you recharge and why it matters

By Rachael Killackey

Published on June 3, 2025

Turns out I’m an introvert: here’s what that actually means

My husband and I have more than a few things in common—but one of the most surprising is that when either of us tells someone we’re introverts, the response is usually disbelief.

We both enjoy conversation, aren’t shy in most situations, and have always prioritized friendships. For most of our lives, people assumed we were extroverts. But that assumption is rooted in a common misunderstanding of what introversion and extroversion really are.

Brooke Cagle / Unsplash

What introversion and extroversion really mean

It’s easy to reduce these terms to surface-level traits. Extroverts are often seen as talkative, friendly, and loud. Introverts? Shy, quiet, and reserved. While those traits might describe some people, they don’t actually define what makes someone introverted or extroverted.

The real difference lies in energy—specifically, how we recharge.

Think of your daily energy like a battery. Some things drain it; others refill it. For introverts, solitude, reflection, and quiet activities tend to refill that battery. For extroverts, it’s interaction, conversation, and external stimulation that do the trick.

That doesn’t mean introverts don’t enjoy people or conversation. Many do (myself included!). But it does mean that social activity tends to use up our energy, rather than refuel it. Similarly, extroverts might love quiet moments—but their energy usually gets a boost from being around others.

Gary Barnes / Pexels

Why it matters for your relationships and work

Understanding where you fall on this spectrum isn’t just about personality quizzes. It’s practical. If you’re introverted, maybe you need to block out time for solo work or take some quiet time after a night out. If you’re extroverted, scheduling regular calls with loved ones or seeking a more people-facing job might help you feel more energized and fulfilled.

We’re all wired differently. And while being introverted or extroverted might not define your entire personality, it can shape how you function best, how you relate to others, and how you restore your energy.

If you’ve been trying to “recharge” in ways that don’t actually work for you, it might be time to rethink the labels. You might find that your needs are different than you assumed—and that’s totally okay.

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Margaret
Margaret
8 days ago

What about some advice/reflection for …extroverts…like me!!

Amie
Amie
7 days ago
Reply to  Margaret

Maybe try a journaling activity. It often helps us to look back at how we handled situations and how we felt about it. Journaling might help you find where you’re most effective.

Brenda
Brenda
8 days ago

I’m convinced it’s not as simple as this. I’m clearly an extrovert but my favorite way to re-charge has changed as I’ve aged. It used to be social situations but these days, it’s time spent alone. To my mind extroversion/introversion has more to do with mode of expression. Extroverts have a greater need to express themselves with outwardly, which involves other peoples (who shares articles with others more, for example) whereas introverts more commonly ponder interiorly. Does that make sense>

Katrina
Katrina
8 days ago

I’m an introvert; my husband is an extrovert. I actually enjoy being around people, sharing life – the happy and the sad, being engaged – more than he does but he just keeps going and going, seemingly recharged by doing. I need quiet time, gazing at the beauty of creation and just thinking. But introverts and extroverts also have different ways of processing. Introverts tend to take the questions or ideas in and consider the options more before having an answer whereas extroverts tend to process more quickly, more “in a straight line’ and share their input more quickly. I’m more of the “let me think about that” and my husband is more of the “here are my thoughts “. The more I’ve come to understand that ‘introvert’ and ‘extrovert’ are real things, more than just labels, the more I’ve come to understand and like myself.

Amie
Amie
7 days ago

I feel this article’s explanation barely begins to describe introvert vs extrovert. (Not meant negatively.) Often people may be a combination of the two with one trait being more primary or outwardly displayed, i.e., that person in the crowd is clearly an extrovert. But for many people, it’s not a straight cut and dried line of either/or. And what’s even more interesting, we can change over time depending on situations and experiences. Someone who was clearly an extrovert may become more introverted as they age or for various other reasons. If you could really dig into the details of what makes us tick, there’s so much more intricacy to how we each function best. For example, an introverted extrovert might be married to an extroverted introvert – I know this couple and it works really well for them but it’s taken years to understand why.

Last edited 7 days ago by Amie
Mark
Mark
7 days ago

Interesting article. I used to think that I was an introvert. Then I thought that I was an extrovert. By the definition used by the author of this article, I have to admit that I get energy from either situation; I need a good mix of the two.
So, in my final analysis, the label (extrovert vs. introvert) just does not matter to me anymore. I am just me. (“Just call me Al” https://www.songfacts.com/facts/paul-simon/you-can-call-me-al)

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