At first, it seems harmless—checking the news while your spouse talks, watching separate TikToks in bed, or scrolling through your feed at dinner. But over time, these small habits quietly build an invisible wall between you and your partner.  

With our phones always within reach, it’s easy to fall into the digital trap. Whether it’s doomscrolling through bad news, bingeing funny videos, or mindlessly swiping through content, our attention is drawn to screens instead of the people right in front of us.  

What feels like a simple way to unwind or stay informed can actually chip away at your relationship. Research shows that excessive screen time lowers relationship satisfaction, creates emotional distance, and even breeds resentment.  

Here are five ways scrolling harms relationships—and how to break free from the digital drift.

When the scroll takes a toll

1.  Doomscrolling and emotional withdrawal

A constant feed of negative news can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and a pessimistic outlook on life. Studies show that media-driven stress makes individuals more irritable, reactive, and emotionally unavailable – qualities that can take a toll on relationships. Instead of bringing positivity and support into the relationship, doomscrolling fosters negativity and withdrawal.

2. “Phubbing” and neglect

Phubbing, or “phone snubbing,” refers to ignoring your loved one in favor of your phone. Research found that phubbing leads to lower relationship satisfaction and increased conflict. Even when scrolling through happy or neutral content, the act of prioritizing a screen over a person sends the message that they are not as important as whatever is on your feed.

3. Disrupted intimacy and connection

True intimacy – both emotional and physical – requires presence. Yet, when attention is constantly divided between your significant other and a device, meaningful conversations and affectionate gestures take the back seat. 

Intimacy flourishes in moments of undivided attention, but when scrolling replaces deep engagement, relationships suffer a lack of warmth, connection, and shared experiences.

4. The illusion of connection

Social media creates the illusion of connection while subtly pulling us away from real-world interactions. Through pouring time and energy into online “friends” and “followers” we can easily forget those right in front of us. Instead of technical interconnectedness fostering more connection, excessive social media use leads to a decline in face-to-face interactions and an increase in loneliness. Even if we’re keeping up with friends online, it does little to nurture our most important real-life relationships.

5. Separate digital lives lead to emotional distance

Endless scrolling often leads couples to engage in separate digital experiences, making them feel like they’re growing apart in terms of interests, values, and priorities. One person may become deeply engaged in finance and self-improvement content, while the other enjoys travel vlogs and pop culture updates. 

There’s nothing wrong with having different interests, but when your digital worlds rarely overlap, it can create a subtle disconnect. If one of you spends hours on fitness content while the other dives into gaming or tech, your daily routines, conversations, and even long-term goals may start drifting in different directions. Over time, this gap can make it harder to stay emotionally aligned and build a shared vision for your life together.

How to detox and refocus your relationship

1. Establish tech-free zones

Designate areas or times when screens are put away – such as during meals, date nights, or the hour before bed. This ensures that you have uninterrupted moments to engage meaningfully with each other.

2. Replace scrolling with shared activities

Instead of passively consuming content, opt for activities that strengthen your bond: cook a meal together, go for an evening walk, play a board game, or simply sit and talk without distractions.

3. Be mindful of media consumption

Instead of mindlessly scrolling, choose to consume content intentionally. Consider setting a timer for social media use or limiting news intake to a specific portion of the day.

4. Communicate openly about screen time

If you feel that phone use is creating distance, have an open, non-judgmental conversation together. Express your feelings and set mutually agreed-upon boundaries to prioritize quality time.

5. Reconnect through small acts of love

Sometimes, the simplest gestures – holding hands, intentional eye contact, or leaving a thoughtful note – can restore intimacy and emotional connection. Prioritizing these small acts fosters warmth and reassures your significant other that your relationship, not your digital life, is the priority.

Final thoughts

Our devices are powerful tools, but when left unchecked, they can easily invade the space and time in our lives that our relationships need to thrive. This doesn’t mean we have to throw away the phone, but by minimizing its role in our daily lives, we can make sure the tool doesn’t trump the person.

The choice is ours: will we let our screens steal our most precious moments, or will we reclaim our time and invest it where it truly matters?