When he began his academic study at Notre Dame, Josh Haskell (’24) was unaware of the way in which his God-given talents would be used for good.

I sat down with Haskell, now the president of Ethos National, a non-profit organization that works to help college men end their pornography addiction. We discussed his motivations for taking this risk post-grad, as well as the goals he and his team have for the future of their company.

Haskell’s history

Haskell began this work by writing a piece at the start of his senior year, titled, “Escaping Porn’s Prison” for one of Notre Dame’s campus newspapers, The Observer, in August 2023.

In it, Haskell described his own addiction to pornography and his journey to recovery.

Starting a crucial conversation

When asked what prompted him to share such a personal story not only with the Notre Dame community, but also the world, Haskell said:

I think it was a frustration with the fact that you could see a statistic like 91.5 percent of men consume pornography, and that’s higher on college campuses since there’s a bit of a skew. It was the frustration with seeing that fact juxtaposed with the reality that it’s still so stigmatized

“How is that even possible?” Haskell continued, “That something is destroying so many men, and so unbelievably common, yet everyone acts like it’s something that is unspeakable. It [porn] is a horrible thing … I wanted to start a conversation on campus, even if that meant that I was overshooting a little bit with the boldness.

He said:

I thought that something extreme like this—a testimony that’s public—would make other people way more comfortable talking about the topic, especially in comparison to the crazy thing that I just did. I thought it would set the tone where what used to feel extreme on campus might not feel extreme anymore

“So that was the first thing: remove the stigma [of getting help]. And the second thing,” Haskell said, “was to motivate people to change.”

What I have seen is that testimonies are really powerful, more powerful than arguments to move people to action. So I wanted to share my story as some kind of guerilla marketing for the new small group program that me and Nadim Khouzam started. I wanted to advertise that and motivate people to be bold and get help.

Breaking the cycle

When asked about the courage required to begin talking about his own addiction, Haskell responded, “I think it’s not that it got less scary … it was definitely still horrible, but I think it was the repeated failure and seeing that what I am doing is not working. I needed to do something else.”

Haskell noted how impactful “having encounters with men well into their adult life who are still trapped by this” was for his motivation.

In his original article, Haskell wrote about an experience on a Zoom call with other men struggling with pornography addiction:

Toward the end of the meeting, the biggest, roughest-looking man in the group unmuted himself and began to speak. … he began sobbing loudly, his bitter tears running down his face into his thick brown beard. He had been trying to quit far longer than me, and he had never succeeded.

Haskell continued, “Through this man, I saw my future self. If I continued with this path, I would be him. Completely trapped, unable to give my wife the undivided love that I’d always planned to give her.”

Vulnerability as necessity

Haskell told me:

It wasn’t that I thought vulnerability was easier. It’s more that I just saw nothing is worse than what is coming for the person that isn’t brave enough to talk about it. It’s kind of like picking your poison. Do you want to be struggling with this while you’re married and have kids, or do you want to suck it up and have some hard conversations? So I chose the second because I think nothing’s worse than the first, and unfortunately I think with how addictive porn is right now, that’s really the option most guys have. It’s not like it’s gonna disappear in some other way. You have to take some bold action or you’re gonna end up single or a married man doing this horrible thing.

“I was definitely scared the first day dropping it,” he continued. “I had thought about this for eight months before doing it. It was in a google docs folder and I was just praying about it. I forced myself to not use a pseudonym because I wanted people to know who I was and I think that would be counterproductive to do an article about vulnerability under a fake name. So I forced myself to go out in public and just be normal and show that a confident normal, hopefully, person can be brave about this.”

The response to his article

The response to his piece was unexpected but positive.

Haskell told me:

I was fully prepared to be ostracized. As a senior I was like if this goes horribly, and especially girls, if no girl ever talks to me again, I leave it here and it’s fine. I was just going to take the risk. But I would say honestly the opposite happened. I don’t think I ever got one negative comment in person or online, comments, nothing. Who knows what happens behind my back, but as far as response, it was so positive. Professors reaching out, priests, family, because obviously I just came clean to my whole family. … Both guys and girls were super supportive and opened up to me about their stories, which I did not expect. Which is beautiful.

Igniting a campus movement

The article sparked real change on campus. Several small groups formed, created by Haskell and Khouzam to assist Notre Dame men in fighting their pornography addictions.

Haskell said, “Then with the small groups that Nadim and I started, we had 100 sign ups in two weeks for the program. By the end of the year, we got almost 4 percent of the guys at Notre Dame in a small group, which is awesome. And that was with a bare bones program, so I think that the potential is even higher than that for helping people.”

Haskell noted:

Going into the year, before I connected with Nadim, I thought, ‘If I get ten people that would be sweet.’ That would mean 10 marriages saved. But then I realized this could be something way bigger—managing roughly 150 people, coming up with an organizational structure, and creating board positions. So it turned out to be a ton of work, but I honestly fell in love with it and realized if we could get 150 at Notre Dame, how many could we get at Franciscan or Benedictine or Texas A&M? It opened my eyes to the potential and motivated me to take the leap.

He also shared:

After the article, so many guys would randomly approach me and say, “Hey, I want to join the group. Can I join the group?” On Friday nights. One even knocked on my door late at night when I was about to go to sleep. I open the door and he says, “Hey, can I join the group?” And I said, “Yeah, sure.” He then said, “Enough is enough,” and then he just walked away. I didn’t even know him. Having that resource there could literally affect a family tree for generations because people can’t quit. It’s so underserved. Something to hold their hand and get it done.

Living a double life

Growing up attending Catholic school, Haskell spoke to the difficulties he faced with regard to the “double life” he felt like he was living.

He said, “It does feel like that [a double life], I think especially in high school. The stigma is kind of intensified in religious circles because it’s even less talked about. So you think ‘People definitely do this, but not people like me that are going to church and trying to be holy.’”

Helping addicted Catholic youth

Haskell then offered insight into helpful measures that could be taken to assist young Catholics struggling with pornography addiction. He said, “I think Catholic parents need to stop assuming their kids are different because unfortunately if you hand your kid an iPhone when they’re little, I think you’re handing them an addiction. Everyone would have thought I was a great person, but I was still struggling. And that’s how almost everyone else is as well in Catholic schools.”

He continued:

Catholic doesn’t mean superhuman strength, which is unfortunately what a childhood with this is requiring now. There needs to be a lot more conversation and education about it in Catholic schools and in parishes. I think that conversation can be started from those places, from the leadership, and they need to be bold as well in introducing that conversation.

College men hungry for freedom

Haskell elaborated on a story about his visit to Franciscan University, saying, “When I went to Francsican, one guy told me, ‘I have this really Catholic friend, he’s trying so hard to quit, like so hard, tries harder than everyone, and he’s trying to propose in a few months and it’s this huge struggle and he cannot beat it.’”

Haskell reflected:

I think [that’s] just the most common story ever. I mean this is Franciscan, it exists in abundance at a place like that, it exists everywhere, and there are so many guys at weekly confession trying with everything they have to be good husbands and fathers and are desperate for this, so hungry they will jump on it in an instant and it just doesn’t exist. We’ve seen that at Notre Dame. People are so hungry they are willing to do something about it.

Answering the call

Reflecting on his own leap of faith, Haskell shared:

I have always wanted to serve God with my talents … since high school. It’s always why I’ve worked hard in school. I wasn’t overly inspired by the job I was going to take in New York and I saw that this is a massive need, no one is doing it, and I have all the skills necessary to do it. I knew I couldn’t pray every night to do something important for God and for the world and reject an opportunity like this, because this is as good as it will ever be.

Success redefined by faith

When asked about the impact of his Notre Dame education in his decision to make this career shift, Haskell responded:

I think the Business Honors Program (BHP) completely through their education and through the community and mentorship redefined success for me. I graduated as a valedictorian finalist and wanted to go to New York and work a big 3 consulting job. I was really just attached to being the best as defined by the world. But I think the BHP redefined success for me—that it doesn’t have to involve making tons of money or finance jobs, which are good great vocations for certain people, but for me, it was more about how can I use my skills best for God, even if that’s unconventional? And I think I always kind of knew that philosophically, but the BHP really helped me get there.

The interior life

To nurture his spiritual life and center his life and work around his faith, Haskell is “doing about 40 minutes of prayer, then a rosary, then Mass.” He recalled, “Second semester senior year, the busiest time of my life, I was doing a daily holy hour every single day. An hour of prayer, plus Mass, plus rosary.”

Haskell said, “Prayer is the name of the game for me. I wouldn’t have been a valedictorian finalist without prayer or have taken the leap with this or have ever written that article. The source of everything is the prayer life. Prayer saved my life.”

Creation of Ethos National

Thankfully, according to Haskell, “Initial support was really good. My mom was hugely supportive. Family members were all really supportive. Friends were supportive. So I rejected the return offer, had my uncle help me draft it as a 501(c)3, finished out school, and now I have been focusing on writing curriculum.”

“It’s really integral,” Haskell said. “It’s focused on prayer, practical advice, and steps in health and relationships. It’s never one at the expense of the other, which a lot of things [programs] are. They’re overly spiritual or they’re just practical and kind of ignore that side.”

In an article published by the Irish Rover, Notre Dame’s Catholic student newspaper, one student shared the impact of the small groups on campus, saying, “I had been struggling with [pornography] for the better part of my life. I hit up Josh and was put in a group. It really helped. … The best part about Ethos is the focus group [where we] talk strategies.”

The article also notes, “Since his time with Ethos, Sciortino has overcome his struggle and is now a group leader. He concluded, ‘I feel I am now ready to help others along. It’s a daily reminder that this is a daily struggle, and you are getting better every day.’”

According to Haskell, the curriculum consists of “a holistic 10-week accountability program that I’ve been writing with the help of Jason Evert and Rachael Killackey, who runs a women’s version of the program.”

I have been working a lot on that, in addition to building out playbooks for students. I have also been building a model that can be franchised so we can train students to start their own chapters at universities. We are going to Franciscan and Hillsdale in January, which is awesome. And then I’m also working to fundraise. There are huge demands, massive demands—so many schools that want this program. And we were able to help so many students at Notre Dame. There is really, truly, nothing like this. But it is going to require massive fundraising needs. I need to build a team, we really want to build an app, and then we will also need donations for programming and travel. So we’re definitely in need of financial support right now.

Investing in a pro-family future

But “fundraising is a huge time commitment, so that’s a really big project right now. If we can hire one regional director, that’s about 400 students a year that you could get off of porn and then starting great families. So it’s a pretty tangible return on investment for donors that are interested.”

Ethos National has created a program called, “Sponsor a Student,” which allows donors to “financially support one college student in a small group.”

Haskell said, “It’s $20 a month, and it really has the potential to save a marriage. It provides them [students] with the full program, curriculum, and in-person accountability. It also supports all of the work and mentorship that goes into making a chapter happen on a campus.”