Ever felt like you’re giving your all in a relationship but something’s still missing? That’s where love languages come in.

Love languages are the unique ways we express and receive love. Knowing yours—and understanding the ones your loved ones speak—can transform relationships. Whether it’s a partner, friend, or family member, recognizing how someone best receives love helps ensure your efforts are truly felt.

Think of it like this: you can’t pour from an empty cup. If your love tank is running low, you won’t have much to offer others. But when we understand how to fill each other’s cups, we give and receive love in a way that builds trust, joy, and connection.

Part 1: Find your love language

Take this short quiz. For each question, choose the option that most resonates with you.

1. When I’m feeling down, I appreciate when someone:
a) Brings me a thoughtful gift
b) Gives me a warm hug
c) Takes time to talk with me
d) Helps lighten my to-do list
e) Tells me how much I mean to them

2. To show love, I usually:
a) Give gifts
b) Spend quality time
c) Write or say kind words
d) Do helpful tasks
e) Offer physical affection

3. I feel most respected when:
a) I’m given a meaningful present
b) Someone pauses to talk and listen
c) I receive verbal encouragement
d) Someone helps with my workload
e) I’m comforted by touch

4. On my birthday, I’d prefer:
a) A special gift
b) A day spent together
c) Heartfelt words
d) Help with chores
e) Cuddles and closeness

5. When I’m stressed, I feel supported when:
a) I receive a small surprise
b) Someone simply sits with me
c) I hear words of affirmation
d) Someone helps out practically
e) I’m offered a comforting hug

Part 2: Identifying the love languages of others

Think about your partner, a close friend, or a family member as you answer the following questions based on their typical behaviors and preferences.

1. How does this person usually show love to you?
a) They give me thoughtful gifts.
b) They enjoy spending quality time with me, just hanging out.
c) They regularly offer kind words or compliments.
d) They do things for me—like running errands or helping out.
e) They give hugs, kisses, or other forms of physical affection.

2. When they’re feeling stressed, how do they typically want to be comforted?
a) By receiving a small, meaningful gift.
b) By spending time together and having a conversation.
c) By hearing supportive or encouraging words.
d) By having someone step in to help with responsibilities.
e) By being hugged or held.

3. During disagreements, how does this person tend to express love or seek peace?
a) They might offer a thoughtful gift as a peace offering.
b) They want to talk things through and resolve the issue together.
c) They express their love with reassuring or affirming words.
d) They offer to take something off my plate to ease tension.
e) They reach out with a hug or physical gesture to reconnect.

4. What seems most important to them in a relationship?
a) Receiving thoughtful gifts or surprises.
b) Spending focused, uninterrupted time together.
c) Hearing regular affirmations of love and appreciation.
d) Acts of service—doing things for one another.
e) Sharing physical affection like hugs, cuddles, or kisses.

5. How do they usually respond to stress or hard days?
a) They treat themselves to something small and special.
b) They want to talk and be around people they trust.
c) They express their feelings and seek encouragement.
d) They appreciate help with daily tasks or responsibilities.
e) They seek out physical comfort through closeness or touch.

Interpreting your results:

Count the letter you chose most often:

Mostly A’s – Receiving gifts
You feel cherished when someone gives you something thoughtful—it’s about the gesture, not the price tag.
Love better: Small surprises, personalized presents, and remembering special occasions go a long way.
Avoid: Forgetting milestones or giving generic gifts.

Mostly B’s – Quality time
For you, love means undivided attention and meaningful moments.
Love better: Be present. Eye contact, listening, shared experiences—these say “I love you” loud and clear.
Avoid: Distractions or frequent cancellations.

Mostly C’s – Words of affirmation
You thrive on encouragement, kind words, and verbal appreciation.
Love better: Speak life. Compliment their efforts, express gratitude, and say “I love you” often.
Avoid: Harsh words or silence in the face of their achievements.

Mostly D’s – Acts of service
Actions speak loudest. Helping out shows you care.
Love better: Take initiative—cook, clean, assist. Show love by lightening their load.
Avoid: Making more work for them or breaking promises.

Mostly E’s – Physical touch
Touch builds connection. You feel loved through closeness.
Love better: Offer hugs, hold hands, sit close. Physical presence matters.
Avoid: Withholding touch or extended absence.

Final thoughts

Love languages aren’t just about romance—they shape how we connect in all relationships. And you might speak more than one! Often, the way you prefer to receive love is also how you naturally give it.

Understanding love languages creates space for deeper connection, emotional security, and joyful relationships. Want to love better? Start by learning the language of the heart.