7 ways to help a new mom that don’t involve cooking

The experience of becoming a new mom is a wild ride. It’s full of unspeakable joy, sheer exhaustion, and emotional confusion – some women may find that it’s better than they ever dreamed, while others are left feeling disenchanted by the day-to-day of motherhood. Whatever the case, new motherhood is a time of vulnerability and deep need. 

While supplying meals is a customary way to support new mothers, there are many ways to meet a woman’s needs in this delicate time. Here are some creative ideas on how to serve the new (or seasoned, for that matter!) mother in your life.

Hold the baby.

If the mom is comfortable, offering to care for her baby—even just for 30 minutes—can be a game-changer. Feeling like there’s a safe person to leave your child with for a moment while you take a shower, go on a walk, or take a quick nap is a lifeline, particularly on tough days. You can let a new mom know that you’re willing and comfortable to hold their baby while they take care of themselves, if they are. 

Put together a self-care basket. 

In the early days with a newborn, self-care can be hard for a mom to prioritize, but it’s all the more important. Put together a small self-care gift basket that can inspire the new mom in your life to take a moment for herself: include aromatherapy bath or shower bombs, a face mask, or some nail polish. (Bonus: follow tip #1 to buy her some necessary self-care time, too!)

Clean her house. 

Nothing creates a clear mind like a clean home. If you’re looking for a radically generous way to support a new mom you know, offer to come clean her home—even if it’s just one room! Taking care of dishes, sweeping and mopping the floor, or doing a couple of loads of laundry is an immense favor. Since letting others clean our homes might feel vulnerable or even embarrassing, reassure your friend that you’d truly love to take a load off of her in this way!

Take her out for some adult time. 

If your friend is comfortable leaving her baby for a couple of hours and feels up for it, taking her out for a drink or afternoon coffee can be a balm. It’s easy to become completely absorbed in your baby—and this is a good thing! But, it can be incredibly refreshing to step away for a moment to catch up with a friend, like old times. 

Meet her where she is (emotionally and physically). 

Like I said above, motherhood is an emotionally complex experience. Taking the time to listen to the new mom in your life and letting her be unfiltered about what she’s thinking—whether she’s sad, anxious, overjoyed, or somewhere in between—is one of the greatest offerings. Meeting her where she is and not trying to alter her experience in the moment is a grounding force!

Physically speaking, new motherhood completely changes social interaction. New moms can be overwhelmed by how little they can do that they used to be able to do easily. Instead of trying to plan get-togethers like they used to be, consider what might be easiest for the new mom in your life. Maybe offer to bring at-home pedicure supplies to her rather than meeting up to get them done, or offer to grab coffee and go on a stroller walk in a park instead of going out to lunch.

Speaking of coffee…

Some new moms who are breastfeeding may not want much coffee, but for me, coffee was (and is) a lifeline. It was a way to treat myself in the midst of really exhausting days as a new mom. It’s not a meal, but bringing your friend a latte in the middle of the afternoon or getting her a gift card to go grab her own when she feels up for it will be most welcome!

Offer to run errands for her. 

Whether it’s grocery pickup or a Target run, offering to run errands can check some major things off a new mom’s to-do list. Ask what she needs done that week, and let her know how much you’d love to take one thing off her plate. Or, if your friend would love the break of running an errand alone, refer back to #1. 

However you choose to support the new mom in your life, the willingness to be present and help is most important. Motherhood is not just a joyful and exhausting experience, it can also be a lonely one. Even the smallest act of kindness makes the experience richer.