10 conversation topics to reinvigorate your date night

You’ve found an available evening, secured the babysitter, conquered pre-bedtime antics, and made it out the door for the ever-important date night with your beloved. But too many times when the chance to reconnect finally materializes, all that comes to mind are appointment reminders, household to-dos, and parenting mishaps. 

The beauty of date night presents a chance for spouses to remind one another of who they are and whose they are, and to rightly order those core identities. First, as a child of God, second, as a husband or wife, and third as a parent. 

The topics of date night conversation should reflect these truths. As tempting as it might be, an entire date night mulling over honey-do lists or, for parents, the joys and challenges of raising children does not communicate to the other that their life of faith and your spousal union are, in fact, the most important, interesting, and wonderful things about them.

Keep the focus on nourishing your relationship 

It can be difficult to steer clear of conversation related to kids and household chores! After all, the Heavenly Father and your marriage co-created your children; it is no wonder they are so enticing to talk about. They are so cute! And so perplexing! Additionally, because the cute and perplexing children are ever-around, it can be hard to find the time to hash out schedules, talk about the roof repair, or make a parenting game plan. Date night is a rare opportunity for uninterrupted conversation, so productive business conversation can be a natural inclination.

Fight against this urge and instead spend most of the date night conversing about things that remind you both of your truest identity as a beloved child of God and your most important role as a husband or wife. 

Having a hard time freeing your mind from calendars and discipline strategies? Perhaps carve out space for discussing practical items at the beginning of the date, but set a firm end time. Better yet, find another evening to focus on business conversation and leave date night to focus on your beloved. 

Here are some topics of conversation to reinvigorate your date night and deepen your relationship. 

1.     Pre-read and discuss

Find an essay or an article of interest to both spouses and pre-read it before date night to discuss over dessert. From the decline in birth rates to the pros and cons of artificial intelligence, find an article with some thought-provoking ideas and see what your spouse has to say about it! 

Need a few article suggestions? The Lamp is a delightful journal to subscribe to. Filled with well-written, informed, and witty articles, it has a lot of substance for lively date night debate and banter.

2.     Love language check-in 

Knowing the way your sweetheart receives and shows love is a true gift to your relationship. Taking time to discuss the ways you have each felt loved or, conversely, a lack of care within your marriage can be a fruitful way to grow in intimacy and understanding. 

If a wife’s love language is words of affirmation and her husband is constantly showing his love for her through acts of service, there may be a disconnect despite his best intentions. After a love language check-in, the husband can be more intentional about verbally expressing his admiration for his wife and the wife can notice the acts of service that may have otherwise been overlooked. Communication is key! 

To learn more about the love languages, read Dr. Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages and take the quiz here. 

3.     Listen to a podcast during the week and discuss

Like reading an article about a shared topic of interest, finding a podcast to enjoy ahead of time and discuss on date night can be a true delight. 

Visitation Sessions would be a great choice, as it is hosted by two Catholic couples who discuss an array of topics from culture and politics, to high level theology and hospitality. With both a female and male perspective shared, it would be a solid place to launch a great date night conversation. 

Another podcast that might prompt an important conversation is Charting Toward Intimacy. This podcast is brimming with thought-proving and inspiring episodes about intimacy, connection, and Natural Family Planning – all through a Catholic lens. Discussing intimacy and the marital bond can feel vulnerable, but this podcast would be a gentle step toward fruitful and deeply important conversation with your spouse about sex. 

4.     Dream about an upcoming or far off anniversary trip

Choose a milestone anniversary to dream about and start planning! Revisiting your honeymoon spot for your five-year celebration or a big trip to Rome for your 20-year anniversary – both sound so romantic! 

5.     What has God been teaching you lately? 

This is a question one of my dear friends asks me regularly, and it stimulates such gratifying conversation and personal reflection. It communicates to the other person that their relationship with God is of utmost importance and something you care about deeply.

6.     A trip down memory lane 

Take a moment to share your first impression of the other or rehash the nitty-gritty details of your first date. Laugh about the stressful moments planning your wedding and reminisce on the happiest moments from your honeymoon. Those stories – your story – will never, ever get old. 

7.     Natural Family Planning check-in 

One beautiful gift of Natural Family Planning is the ongoing communication it requires between spouses. Sometimes it can become routine, but having a truly heartfelt check-in about this integral part of your marriage is not only wise, but essential. 

8.     What’s the best gift you’ve ever given? Received?

From a shiny red bike for their eighth birthday to the thoughtful gift you gave them last year, asking this question will show you care about the tiniest details in their life. It also might give you some ideas for future presents! 

9.     Building community – Are there any friends or family members you would like to connect with more? How can we make that happen? 

Surrounding your marriage with an encouraging and faithful community is so important for sharing together in times of joy and leaning on in times of difficulty. Maintaining healthy relationships with relatives and friends alike will only strengthen your marriage, not detract from it.

10.  If I were to give you an entire day to yourself, how would you want to spend it? 

This question will give great insight into what your spouse finds meaningful and ways that their cup might be filled in this season of their life. Also, if you can find the time, gift them this day of leisure and rest! 

Bonus topic: Think about our life after we retire – what might it look like? Are there hobbies you want to start learning now to carry into that new season? 

One day your children will have grown-up, and the two of you will remain as the steady pillars in the life of your home. Cultivate interests and hobbies now, both individual and joint endeavors, so that retired life is full of fun, connection, and joy. 

A loving, formidable, God-centered marriage — the foundation of a fruitful family — is the antidote to the breakdown of society. Your children, and the world, will benefit from your commitment to prioritizing heart-focused, interesting, lovely conversation with your spouse.